


your heart is a shaken fist

by waitfortheclick



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death, F/F, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hell, Implied/Referenced Torture, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 12:50:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11874843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitfortheclick/pseuds/waitfortheclick
Summary: Meg, after S7E23, back on the chain gang.





	your heart is a shaken fist

Meg thinks, with amusement, about words; about how you can say "I don't care for that" and people think it's nicer than "I don't like that." As if they don't mean the exact same thing.

"You find a cause, and you serve it." She says "cause" when she means "love", and they look at her like she's grown another head but they don't know.

That makes her laugh, bitterly. They think "demon" and they think lore, they think black eyes and blood. They're surprised that she cares, that she believes and serves.

She doesn't love Castiel, not like that. But he's hers. She thinks it makes Dean burn because on some level he must know, deep down, Castiel never belonged to just him. He doesn't belong to anyone but she's possessive and she earned this; she watched him and took care of him. She killed for him.

Ruby's knife slices into her flesh. She feels it, distantly. They gave her the deluxe suite, all the souls just beg to be tortured here. A beautiful view of a steaming, stinking lake of blood and all the plague rats you could ask for. No, she knows why the rats are here. Everything that's here is special, just for her.

Her sides tickle where the blood runs down.

Then, suddenly, she's clean. Warm and tucked between soft thighs with a nipple in her mouth, dark hair coarse and wet under her fingers. Her eyes squeeze shut and her thoughts are a mantra of no no no no.

"Meg!"

She knows this by heart.

"Meg! Save me!"

Her hands are over her ears but the sound gets in because it's inside her.

"Meg, how could you?"

She counts down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and feels the blood slick and hot on her hands.

"No."

Ruby's guiding her hand to the wound.

"No."

This is the only thing she feels.

**Author's Note:**

> Written five years ago, recently edited and cleaned up, etc. Thank you to Blueberry Jeans for the beta!


End file.
